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Dating is exhausting. We all know it. Luckily, there has been a surge of dating sites and apps offering more opportunities and options than ever for the LGBTQ+ community.
But with all good things, there comes a risk. Dating sites and apps are often misused. You might come across people that aren’t looking for the same things you are, and it’s hard to filter it out at first glance.
There has been a rise in gay dating apps and sites. In 2021, there are approximately 1,500 dating apps. And according to MarketWatch, online dating has become the most popular way for LGBTQ+ people to date. Still, many gay dating websites and apps are all about sex, sex, and more sex. It can be difficult to narrow down and find an app that caters more to your personal preference—maybe you’re looking for a long-term relationship or a companion.
If you’re gay and are struggling to find dating apps that accommodate all walks of LGBTQ+ life, you’re in the right spot. Don’t lose hope. Keep reading to discover the 20 best gay dating sites and apps in 2021 for men, women, and queer folk. There is a little something for everyone, so hopefully, you’ll find your perfect match on one of these gay dating apps.
Best Gay Dating Sites and Apps
- Men Nation – Best for fun dates and casual hookups
- Adam4Adam – Best guys and user experience
- eHarmony – Best matchmaking algorithm
- Zoosk– Best new generation Match.com
- Scruff – Best for gay cubs and bears
- Hornet – Best for international hookups
- HER – Best for lesbians/gay women
- Grindr – Best for sex and casual hookups
- Elite Singles – Best for meeting professional singles
- OkCupid – Best heterosexual app that is LGBTQ+ inclusive
- Tinder – Best for an enormous user base
- Hinge – Best for substantial relationships
- Lex – Best for queer and nonbinary folks
- Nuit – Best for folks into astrology
- Jack’d – Best for diversity
- Chappy – Best for meaningful connections
- Silver Singles – Best for singles over 50
- Our Time – Best for senior singles looking for companionship
- BeNaughty – Best for kinky and casual physical relationships
- Senior Match – Best for singles over 60
Pros:
- Do not have to provide private details to create an account
- Appealing interface
Cons:
- Only website available, no app
- To access some features, you need to pay for a premium membership
Men Nation is great for gay single men who are looking for casual dates and hookups. It has over 100 million GBTQ men from different parts of the world. You are bound to find a partner who is interested in whatever you are. The men that use this website are open-minded and ready to start a fun, genuine conversation, regardless of their location or preferences.
Men Nation is widely known for its diversity in the LGBTQ+ community and the multiple options available. This website takes safety very seriously and has moderators to protect users at all times.
2. Adam4Adam – Best Website Turned to App
Pros:
- Successfully running since 2003
- About 27 filter options to find your perfect match
Cons:
- High number of fake profiles and bots
- Interface is outdated and bland
Adam4Adam is good for gay singles because it’s similar to Grindr, but it’s been around for much longer and has been a pioneer for the gay online world. People usually use it for casual and sexual encounters, but there is a chance to meet a romantic match if that’s what you are searching for.
A4A offers an online sex shop and live cams that you can explore. But the only drawback of this website turned app is that there are many fake profiles, and its user base isn’t as high as apps like Grindr and Tinder.
3. eHarmony – Best for Enhanced Matchmaking
Pros:
- 80-question personality quiz
- Ideal for long-term relationships
Cons:
- Expensive premium plans
- Lengthy sign-up process
eHarmony is great for gay singles looking for serious relationships. This site launched in 2000, designed for straight Christians. But over the years, this site has become more inclusive and now accepts the LGBTQ+ community. As of 2009, many LGBTQ+ folks have been finding their perfect match thanks to its elite matchmaking.
If you’re serious about finding a long-term partner, paying for a premium plan will ensure you match with someone based on your values, ambitions, and dreams. It’s most definitely one of the best gay dating sites for finding real love, but it comes with an investment—so be ready to pay up.
4. Zoosk – Best New Generation Match.com
Pros:
- Very active users
- Used in over 80 countries
Cons:
- Have to pay extra for additional features
Zoosk is perfect for younger gay singles looking for relationships. If you’re in your early to mid-20s and not interested in casual hookups, this is the app you should be looking at. It’s designed in a unique cartoony UI to enjoy the dating process.
It is one of the most popular dating sites with a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries. It’s open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations. It also provides verified profiles so you can be assured that you’re not interested in pursuing a bot or troll account.
5. Scruff – Best for Gay Cubs and Bears
Pros:
- Specifically for gay men (GTBQ community)
- Has a “Scruff Travel” feature available
Cons:
- Free membership means dealing with ads
- App crashes from time to time
Scruff is best suited for men in the GTBQ community looking for diverse types of men. It is one of the top-rated gay dating apps, and because it uses geolocation, it shows you hot singles near you. When searching for potential dates, it allows you to tick off one or multiple communities you are open to. These communities include bear, bisexual, cub, daddy, discreet, drag, jock, military, muscle, otter, poz, trans, and much more.
When you’re traveling, the app allows you to publish a travel agenda with your destination city, which means you can organize hookups when you arrive.
6. Hornet – Best for International Hookups
Pros:
- Lots of features available to free users
- Huge user base
Cons:
- You need a Facebook or Google account to log in
Hornet is geared toward international gay men because this dating app was designed to be used in countries that aren’t LGBTQ+-inclusive. It has a community of 25 million users worldwide and is known as the “digital home” for the gay network.
Since it’s used in countries that aren’t quite liberal, it’s a way to be discreet and careful. But that doesn’t mean it’s not popular or high in demand. Hornet is a great app to meet foreign travelers, to hook up while vacationing in another country, or to find the international love of your life.
7. HER – Best for Lesbians / Gay women
Pros:
- Messaging is all free and unlimited
- Matches based on location
Cons:
- App sometimes lags
- You need a Facebook or Instagram account to sign up
HER is the best gay dating app for queer women. Unfortunately, men consistently bother queer women on dating apps. Even if you set your preferences to only women, there is a chance your potential may not be interested.
Enter HER. It gives the lesbian community an exclusive app. It’s designed solely for women, and the target audience is lesbian, queer, and bisexual women. It’s available in all major cities across 114 countries worldwide. This revolutionary app is for queer women tired of the other mainstream dating sites.
8. Grindr – Best for Sex and Casual Hookups
Pros:
- Over 6 million users
- Free and widely known
Cons:
- Not for those looking for long-term romance
- App can lag
Grindr is the most popular gay dating app in the world. Even straight people have heard of it. Grindr is used in over 200 countries globally to find gay sex immediately. This app has gained a reputation for hooking up and casual sex and has become the go-to app for it.
The layout is geolocation-based, so you can instantly have access to sexy guys in your area, making quick sex easy to organize with the click of a few buttons. They’ve recently added sections for trans and nonbinary people. Unfortunately, Grindr is predominantly known for a certain type.
9. Elite Singles – Best for Meeting Professional Singles
Pros:
- In-depth personality test to find the perfect match
- High-quality singles in the world
Cons:
- Limited-time free trial
- Website is more user-friendly than the app
Elite Singles is ideal for gay singles and is one of the top sites to find serious relationships between professionals. Since this site is a little high-end, it means you need to pay for its premium features. Most people on here are earning loads of money and looking for a serious long-term relationship.
Education is a crucial part of the personality test, and it has a direct bearing on who will contact you. For some, it may come off very snobby, but if we’re looking at the best dating sites and apps catered to every walk of life, this is the go-to for professionals.
10. OkCupid – Best Heterosexual App That is LGBTQ+ Inclusive
Pros:
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- LGBTQ+ inclusive with a large database
- Vast user base of people
Cons:
- Chance of catfishes
- Will only allow messaging if both people match
OkCupid is fantastic for gay singles that want to use a trustworthy dating app that is LGBTQ+ inclusive. Since OkCupid has been around since 2004 and has 30 million active users, it’s made many positive updates to cater to a wider range of people. Even though it was mainly designed for straight folks, it’s developed a strong following of LGBTQ+ people over the past few years. There are so many different pronouns and sexualities to choose from, giving you optimal choices that will meet your needs.
It just requires you to answer a lot of questions when you sign up to ensure that you match with someone who shares your exact values and ideals.
11. Tinder – Best for Enormous User Base
Pros:
- User pool is huge
- Passport feature to change location—useful when traveling
Cons:
- Might come across bots
- 76 percent of users live in urban areas, so if you live anywhere rural you may have a smaller match pool
Tinder is the best hookup app for singles, but it is also a choice for LGBTQ+ folks looking for hookups or love. The prime reason why Tinder is a good choice to find people is because of its ginormous user base. It’s so popular that you will most likely find something close to what you’re looking for.
There are many exclusively gay dating apps—like Scruff and HER—but nothing beats Tinder for popularity. Its target audience is singles in the 18-34 year age bracket, so keep that in mind if you’re thinking of downloading this app.
12. Hinge – Best for Substantial Relationships
Pros:
- Popular with millennials
- Matchmaking algorithm is top-notch
Cons:
- Limited gay users
Hinge is great for the younger LGBTQ+ community. This app is focused more on finding real romance and actual relationships. Its motto is that Hinge is “designed to be deleted.” In terms of LGBTQ+ folk, this app is for long-term dating and relationships.
This one is a mainstream dating app, so if you’re LGBT, be aware that you might not find what you’re looking for. Although the app does have very diverse profiles located in your local vicinity, there is always a chance that you won’t find exactly your type because it does not specifically cater to the LGBTQ+ community.
13. Lex – Best for Queer and Nonbinary Folks
Pros:
- Many identities to browse from—including genderfluid
- Unique interface
Cons:
- Dated UI
Lex is great for queer and nonbinary folks who are nonconforming and looking for like-minds. While most dating apps are picture-focused, Lex is a unique experience altogether. It prides itself on an early 2000s interface with a Craigslist-style design to post your profile.
You can find people who care about the same things as you and are interested in similar things in your local area. Not only is it very inclusive, but this app also has a zero-tolerance policy towards hate speech or creepiness. If you’re interested in a unique interface and want to find nonconforming folks, similar to yourself, this app is the best gay dating app for that.
14. Nuit – Best for LGBTQ+ Folks into Astrology
Pros:
- Multiple pronouns and sexuality options
- Great if you’re into birth charts and astrology
Cons:
- No point if you are not interested in astrology
Nuit is the best dating app for gay folks who are into astrology. Zodiac, birth charts, cosmic energy, and astrology are a growing interest for many people in 2021, and this app is for them specifically.
It’s a great way to find gay friends and love interests in your area who share your love for astrology. This app is super inclusive and gives you so many options that you are bound to meet someone with the same energy and interests as you.
15. Jack’d – Best for Diversity
Pros:
- Worldwide community of 180 countries
- Most inclusive for queer people of color
Cons:
- Available only as a mobile app
Jack’d is the best diverse bi, gay, queer, and trans dating app. It has a global community of 5 million members in over 180 countries. The main goal of this gay app is inclusivity. It aims to create a community that brings together diverse LGBTQ+ members to meet, make friends, and develop deep connections, whether it be friendships or romantic relationships.
Similar to Tinder and Grindr, Jack’d is location-based. It offers a free version and also has a paid version. This app is globally the most diverse gay dating app.
16. Chappy – Best for Meaningful Connections
Pros:
- Free with no annoying trial periods
- Adjust preferences to casual friendship or serious relationships
Cons:
- Only available as an app
Chappy is wonderful for gay men looking for substantial connections. In 2018, the shareholders of Bumble—a popular mainstream dating app—took over Chappy, making Chappy Bumble’s certified counterpart for gay dating.
It was created to make a comfortable and safe dating space for gay men. In an attempt to add some type of vulnerability and emotional value, Chappy gives the members the freedom to choose their matches according to their interests. It’s only available in limited areas, and it has a 100 percent gay membership, with a vast majority of them between the ages of 18 to 34.
17. Silver Singles – Best for Singles Over 50
Pros:
- 100 percent dedicated to singles that are 50 years and older
- Easy-to-use interface
Cons:
- Long questionnaire
Silver Singles is great for gay singles over 50 years old. It is one of the largest online dating websites for singles over this age group. It caters to people looking for new friendships, casual dating, or serious relationships. Whether you’re single, divorced, separated, or widowed, you’ll find singles with all types of life stories.
If you’re LGBTQ+ and over 50 years old, Silver Singles is a great dating app to find whatever you’re looking for. It offers more mature singles a platform to enjoy serious senior dating with no judgment or discrimination. And everything is available on a mobile app if you prefer your smartphone.
18. Our Time – Best for Senior Singles Looking for Companionship
Pros:
- Three-day free trial
- 14-day money-back guarantee
Cons:
- You have to have a paid subscription to send messages
Our Time is best for senior gay or lesbian people looking for anything from friendships to relationships. Its main goal is to provide men and women in their 50s an opportunity to meet others for conversation and meaningful connections. You can also search for pen-pals, friends, or companionship.
Dating demographics suggest that adults over the age of 50 are becoming more active in the online dating world. But unfortunately, there aren’t too many dating apps that cater to their needs specifically. Our Time combats this by providing a comfortable and safe place for singles over 50 to find love or friendship.
19. BeNaughty – Best for Kinky and Casual Physical Relationships
Pros:
- Profiles explicitly state what people are looking for
- Very user-friendly
Cons:
- Men cannot reply to messages unless they have a paying account
BeNaughty is a great app for LGBTQ+ who are kinky and in search of casual physical relationships. It is different from other dating sites because of its transparency. With other dating sites and apps, a user’s intention may not always be clear. But with BeNaughty, every user’s intention is targeted towards casual fun.
It has a diverse range of members who are open-minded and non-judgmental. It caters towards LGBTQ+ folks by its search functions which help you narrow down your selections by adjusting your preferences. BeNaughty is a flirty, open, inclusive site that caters to all types of kinks and interests.
20.Senior Match – Best for Singles Over 60
Pros:
- All user accounts monitored 24/7 to prevent bots
- Easy to use
Cons:
- Search results may show inactive profiles
Senior Match is ideal for LGBTQ+ seniors looking for a senior-friendly space to find local and worldwide matches. This dating service was specifically designed for singles who are 50+ but not specifically just for LGBTQ+ seniors. It is one of the easiest to use sites for senior folks who want to find love, meet new acquaintances, and hook up with mature singles.
It aims to create an inclusive and friendly online dating experience for senior people. Most of the people you will meet on this site are very inclusive and judgment-free. To prevent troll or bot accounts, Senior Match monitors all user accounts.
Gay Dating FAQ
What are the benefits of gay dating apps?
As stated by Pew Research Center, about 65 percent of people who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual that have used online dating apps or sites say their experience was very or somewhat positive. Your odds should pretty much double for experiences on LGBTQ+-specific dating sites or apps.
Gay dating apps are a predominantly safe space to express yourself without any judgment—compared to generic dating apps.
And the best benefit is that there will be more LGBTQ+ people on gay dating apps, which means more of a chance to find exactly what you’re looking for.
Are gay dating sites and apps any different from heterosexual apps?
The only real (and important) difference is that gay dating sites have more features customized for LGBTQ+ people.
Examples of this are:
- If you’re trans, gay dating apps usually have sections for trans and nonbinary people to help you stay from any harassment.
- If you’re a gay woman, there is an app called HER designed solely for lesbians. You don’t have to worry about straight men pestering you needlessly.
- If you’re a gay man, there are preferences on gay dating apps to filter guys according to your type.
How safe are gay dating apps?
Gay dating apps are, for the most part, safe. But as you should do for any dating website or app, always exercise caution when meeting someone new. You can’t be sure who you’re talking to online. Remember that catfishing (the act of using someone else’s photos to create a new identity) is still a very real problem in this digital age.
If you live in a predominantly homophobic city, be careful with how fast you trust someone.
The safest thing to do is arrange your first meet-up in public. Or arrange a video call before your official first date.
Gay dating sites and apps are mostly safe, but there is always a potential for something bad to occur.
Are there any mainstream dating apps or websites that are gay-friendly?
The most gay-friendly mainstream dating site is OkCupid. It has an option that says, “I don’t want to see or be seen by straight people,” which makes it safe and gay-friendly. It even gives its users the option to state their gender identity and sexuality—having a designated profile area to define your pronouns.
Which app is the best for gay relationships?
If you’re gay, lesbian, or bisexual and looking for a healthy long-term relationship, the best gay dating site to try is eHarmony. It has a very unique algorithm that will match you to a near-perfect match, based on an 80-question personality quiz that you have to complete.
As you can tell from this review, there are so many gay dating apps and sites to choose from, but the best shot at finding true romance would be on eHarmony.
Gay Dating Tips
1. Choose your dating app wisely.
If you’re looking for a fast hookup tonight, you probably should not waste your time on a website like OkCupid or eHarmony. And similarly, if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you probably won’t find that on an app like Grindr.
2. Be open to dating outside your “type.”
People are picky when it comes to dating, but if there is one thing that is true in the dating world, it’s don’t judge a book by its cover. You don’t know what type of person has the keys to your heart—or your pants.
3. It’s fine to be attracted to people who look or present themselves in a certain way.
But just try not to rule out an entire group of people because they don’t fit what you usually go for. When you are open to different identities, you will widen your options drastically and have more potential to meet someone who just fits with you.
4. Don’t be crude or hateful.
You may not even realize it, but the amount of profiles that have such vile preferences listed in their bios is plentiful. Just because a certain race or body type is not your type, there is no need to be crude about it. Racism and body-shaming are a no-no in every space. In an LGBTQ+ space, people should be all the more inclusive. If someone isn’t your type, just be polite when shooting them down.
5. Facetime or video call before you meet up for the first time.
Some may think this defeats the purpose of a “first date.” But think about it. . . Do you want to spend hours getting ready, anticipating the first time you lay eyes on each other and driving to the date spot, only to realize that you have no attraction or chemistry to this person?
If dating apps have taught us one thing, it’s that photos sometimes can be very deceiving. To combat this frustration, we suggest Facetime or video call before your first date.
Having a quick video call before your first date will:
- confirm they are who they say they are (safety first)
- give you a taste of how your chemistry will be
- reduce the stress—even if it’s a little—before meeting them in person
- get you even more excited about meeting them in real life
6. Consider stating your HIV status.
Before things get more heated, consider telling your potential date about your HIV status. It’s something that everyone wants to know but is sometimes reluctant to say. Save yourself an awkward conversation later on and be honest about it. (Pro tip: Grindr has a section for HIV+ folks called “Poz.”)
7. Discuss controversial topics on your first date.
Save the mundane conversation and questions for your online chatting. When you’re meeting in person, don’t be scared to discuss interesting and even controversial topics. To get to know someone and create a strong sense of comfortability and vulnerability, getting raw and personal is key. Taking risks is what dating is all about.
There was a time when gay dating was an IRL affair, based around your local gay bar or well known cruising spot. Now, finding a guy usually means grabbing a phone and browsing your options.
While a lot of people decry the decline of gay bar culture, there’s no denying that dating apps are the most popular method of meeting people in 2018. With that in mind, here’s a run down of the most popular gay dating apps for queer men.
Grindr
Who it’s for: everyone
Grindr, you may have heard of it? Launched in 2009 as the first ‘geosocial’ dating app (i.e. you can see who’s nearby), Grindr has grown to dominate both the actual market and the entire concept of gay hookup culture.
The general consensus is that Grindr is only for hookups, but this isn’t necessarily true. As is the case anywhere a lot of people gather, there’s something on Grindr for everyone – from one night stands and fuckbuddies to long term relationships.
That being said, if you’re looking for a brief encounter, Grindr will do the job, as it’s more of a free-for-all than some other apps with little restriction on who you can talk to. All you need to do to get started is sign up, set your preferences and scroll through guys close by. If you’re using the free version, be willing to suppress your rage at the incessant ads.
As is also the case with large gatherings of people, there’s a lot of bigotry and generally unacceptable behaviour on Grindr. A lot of this stems from the fact that users have license to be incredibly specific about their wants and desires, which apparently for some people means being specifically terrible.
Awful behaviour aside, there are a lot of pros to Grindr. Mainly, it has the most users. You can also be as anonymous as you want or as open as you’d like with your gender, preferred pronouns and status. People are also pretty trigger happy with pics, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Since a change at the top in 2016, Grindr has been on a one-app mission to be the centre of gay universe, with big events, an online magazine and a gay emoji keyboard. Basically, it isn’t going away anytime soon.
Scruff
Who it’s for: older, hairier, masc
Scruff, as the name suggests, is the hairier, bearier alternative to Grindr. The age range of users skews a little older than its main rival, and they are more uniformly of the muscular persuasion.
Scruff has been on the scene almost as long as Grindr, so it’s also amassed a large user base. As with Grindr, the amount of users has diluted its USP, so it’s not exclusively ‘scruffy’ guys on there, just mainly, and still overwhelmingly masc.
If masculinity isn’t high on your list of priorities, I wouldn’t necessarily look here. Scruff is hookup oriented, but does have a ‘match’ function if you’re looking for dates.
Being slightly more niche appeal than Grindr, Scruff doesn’t have the same critical mass of users, nor the cultural clout. However, if you see the word Scruff and don’t immediately shout ‘Oh Scruff Pit Crew’ in your best Mama Ru voice, then why are we even doing this?
Having sponsored the Pit Crew in the sixth season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, Scruff secured its position in the psyches of gay men everywhere, and it’s worth checking it out for this alone.
Jack’d
Who it’s for: POC, mainly
As mentioned, when you get a lot of guys together, bigotry tends to rear its ugly head and send you unsolicited nudes. Jack’d presents itself as an alternative to the divisiveness of other gay dating apps, and there’s proportionally more POC on there.
It works in much the same way as Scruff or Grindr, but with some additional features like more photos and the ability to see who’s been looking at your profile. You should be able to find both hookups or relationships on Jack’d, but it is a little more NSA friendly.
Hornet
Who it’s for: everyone
Hornet’s USP seems to be ‘we do Grindr better than Grindr’. While Grindr’s functionality is notoriously clunky, Hornet works much better, with less intrusive ads, interesting side features like in-app articles and more photos. In practice though, you use Hornet much the same way as Grindr.
Hornet is pitched more towards being a community platform than just a gay dating app, and you’ve got the option to follow people for updates or see events and stories.
Community aspects aside, you’re more likely to find a one night stand on here than a husband. Hornet has been slowly beating out other apps worldwide through its news and content delivery, especially in Brazil, but has yet to dislodge Grindr and its other rivals from the top spot in the UK or US.
Chappy
Who it’s for: who knows
You’re probably most familiar with Chappy from it filling every available ad space on your social media.
Chappy’s ‘USP’ is that you can slide a scale at the top of the app to select ‘Mr Right’, ‘Mr Right Now’ (clever) or ‘Mr Who Knows’ to find guys who are looking for the same. You can then swipe, Tinder style, through the filtered buffet. You have to log in through Facebook, so there’s much less room for anonymity.
Chappy is the brainchild of Made In Chelsea’s Ollie Locke, who was looking for something different from the other gay dating apps on the market. In reality, Chappy feels more like a ‘rich person decides to be entrepreneur’ kind of project, especially as most apps give you the ability to state exactly what you’re looking for, albeit in the much less fun form of ‘words’ rather than a sliding scale.
Regardless, Chappy has the backing of Bumble founder Whitney Wolf, it works pretty well and there are plenty of guys on there to swipe through. Unsurprisingly, you’ll find most of them on the ‘Mr Who Knows’ point of the scale.
Tinder
And finally, Tinder. Whereas Tinder was once thought of as Grindr for straight people, the ability to set your preferences to find other gays has made Tinder an increasingly popular choice.
Gay Tinder is to straight Tinder what Gay Twitter is to regular Twitter, i.e. the same, but gayer! You log in, set your preferences, and then swipe your way through the oncoming onslaught of men.
Tinder’s default setting is straight (eye roll), so you have to change it to find your fellow gays. With the free version, you have a limited number of swipes per day and limited access to extra features like ‘Super Likes’ and ‘Boost’.
By its nature, Tinder is geared more towards dating than hookups, although that’s not to say you can’t find both. There’s lots of guys on the platform, so you’ve got good odds of finding someone.
Best Gay Hookup Apps 2020 Reddit
Honourable mentions:
Surge
Who it’s for: everyone, fans of Davey Wavey
GROWLr
Who it’s for: bears
Feeld (formerly the much better named 3ndr)
Best Hook Up Apps Gay Family
Who it’s for: Couples looking for an extra and vice versa. Not exclusively gay
More:chappy,Grindr,growlr,Hornet,jack'd,scruff,Tinder
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